Archive for the ‘We Need Results’ Category

SLAVE LABOR II

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010

Here’s another ‘be glad to have a paycheck and kiss our ass’ example, from a company that will not be mentioned here:

Jacques

Job Type
Full-time
Travel Required
0 – 10%
Job Description
As a Systems Engineer, you’re a full-time Linux tinkerer. You play around with our system, find areas that could use upgrade or improvement, and then make it happen. You identify issues before they become problems for our customers, and you help us find ways to work around those problems to create a more stable and secure hosted platform. You’ll explore and troubleshoot OS level, web server, database server, applications server, DNS, SMTP, and other software issues. You’re involved in the technical aspects of problem identification, systems architecture design, hardware/software specification and design, and implementation. Plus, you understand how to manage disk I/O and memory usage and how to evaluate and implement hot fixes or patches.
Job Requirements

If you want your paycheck:

Your responsibilities to the customers (the people who pay us the big bucks) include:

  • Being mindful of security implications at both an application and network level in order to protect the data of our customers
  • Identifying and correcting problems, both current and potential, and then making them disappear so as to create the best customer experience possible
  • Providing basic user administration (add/delete user, change passwords, group administration)
  • Using your keen judgment to make decisions that will ensure maximum uptime of our system

Your responsibilities to your co-workers (the people pounding on your door) include:

  • Keeping yourself educated and up to date on current technologies and new versions of existing software solutions
  • Having ownership over at least one subsystem or component with a high degree of accountability
  • Controlling call flow for the support team
  • Assisting in mentoring lower-level engineers

You have the right skills and characteristics if:

  • 2-3 years working in a computer technical field with customer service experience is a must; a bachelor’s degree in computer science, engineering, or equivalent work experience is preferred
  • Linux experience is a requirement; Red Hat experience is preferred; Red Hat certification is a plus
  • Basic knowledge of SMTP/POP/IMAP, system services (e.g., Apache, HW, RHN, Postfix configuration), mail transfer agents, DNS principles, common configuration locations (Apache, MySQL, FTP, Postfix, Sendmail, SSH, PHP), common service ports, firewalls, load balancers, multiple storage solutions, and file system structures
  • Basic troubleshooting of system services (e.g., Apache, SMTP, POP, IMAP, HW, RHN, mail transfer agents), logs, restarting services, and clusters
  • Solid knowledge of command line interface, PHP configuration, My SQL foundation (including add/remove DB, grant statements, show slave status, log files), performance monitors and their output using tools, zone files, and advanced RPM usage.
  • High-level understanding of how the internet and firewall/load balancers work
  • Ability to configure FTP servers, basic PHP and Apache modules, Postfix/Dovecot
  • Other necessary skills: navigating command line interface, adding routes and keeping routes after boot, installing or removing RPM.s and adding IPs, using ssh/sftp, setting up Cron jobs, performing basic installation of third-party applications, creating and mounting file systems

You have the right skills and characteristics if:

  • You are a respectful, articulate, positive, employee who truly believes that serving the needs of our customers is the way in which our company is going to set itself apart from our competitors
  • You enjoy working for a 24×7 company
  • You require only moderate supervision and are self-driven
  • You have a strong positive outlook and have been searching for the opportunity to find an exciting, fast paced environment where your talents will be sharpened and you will be personally driven to work harder than you have ever worked before

The above information has been designed to indicate the general nature and level of work performed by employees in this classification. It is not designed to contain or to be interpreted as a comprehensive inventory of all duties, responsibilities, and qualifications required of the employee assigned to this job.

Incidentally, because all applicants are assholes, you will be required to kiss our ass, whether you are hired or not….

Posted in We Need Results | No Comments »

Slave Labor

Wednesday, February 24th, 2010

This time around, I’ve decided to sideline my own visceral rantings and let a job posting speak for itself.  I’m not going to say who this is, but it’s a typical example of how the Man requires the Worker to put his/her life, happiness and soul into the trash heap, for the great ‘privilege’ of having a job.    Life be damned.  Read below and decide for yourself. 

Jake desJardins

 

Job Description

As a Product Manager, you work in the fast-paced, Internet-driven industry with some of the smartest developers in the world. You eat, sleep, and dream about creating a better product for our customers. You personally have the opportunity to impact our customers’ experience because, as our products proceed through different versions and development lifecycles, you anticipate where customers are going to encounter confusion and you eliminate it. We have demanding customers who expect our product to be user friendly and nothing less than perfect. It is because of this expectation and your love for our product that you work harder than you ever have before.

If you want your paycheck: Your responsibilities to the customers (the people who pay us the big bucks) include:

                            Being the user advocate when developers are designing and developing products

                            Making sure that customer feedback is incorporated into the design of future product releases

                            Developing user-friendly tools and proactively seeking out changes that need to be made

                            Being a step ahead. You don’t want our customers to be confused about a feature of our product so you anticipate where confusion might occur and you prevent it.

                            Communicating expectations regarding product release dates to our customers.
Your responsibilities to your co-workers (the people pounding at your door) include:

                            Working closely with development teams to design and deliver products.

                            Developing realistic development plans and schedules and creating written product specifications and requirements.

                            Evaluating and prioritizing requests for product changes, enhancements, etc.

                            Determining objectives and test plans for any test involving clients.

                            Resolving issues and problems that will affect product success.

                            Developing strategic outlook in assigned technical area and keeping track of vendor roadmaps.

                            Working to resolve issues with current products and interacting with customers and prospects to determine requirements and facilitate sales opportunities.

                            Pushing the creative boundaries with the Graphic Designers to design and tweak products until they are perfect.
Important Skills and Characteristics:

                            An understanding of email and web technologies as well as interface design and user friendliness.

                            Being an analytical, detail-oriented, goal driven, aggressive professional.

                            Excellent knowledge of all products within our product families, as well as company policies and practices.

                            Experience with long-range and operational planning techniques.

                            Excellent communication and interpersonal skills which enable you to operate as a matrix manager in coordinating people and technical resources from multiple areas of the company.

                            Ability to operate efficiently under minimal supervision.

                            A Bachelor’s degree in business, sales, engineering, or marketing preferred.

                            4+ years of experience working in a technology, consulting environment, or in product development.
You’re going to do just fine here if:

                            You have an understanding of product management; you are technical; you can quickly educate yourself on our new products and services; you are organized; you can multi-task; and you know how to get your point across.

                            You understand and apply the concepts of simplicity in design and can incorporate them into our product and website.

                            You realize the importance of clean, simple, user interfaces.

                            You have experience creating user documents for different types of software and are knowledgeable of user terminology as well as common usability issues or complaints.

Let me add one other requirement, which I gleaned from the above text, event though it’s not explicity stated: 

And you will kiss our ass, and love it, even if we decide later on to fire you or ’downsize’ your sorry butt because we couldn’t make a profit, even after working you 100 hours a week.

Jake desJardins

Posted in Beginnings, Screw the Worker, We Need Results | No Comments »